A nightmare
by Mireille 29
Summary: Kirika has got a nighmare that haunts her many nights... Mireille tries to help her, she finds out what Kirika has seen... shoujoai , M&K of course
1. The night

_Author's note: I do not own Noir or any characters of it._

_This is my first fanfic, please excuse me for my English, maybe it's not_

_so well, I'm sorry... but please enjoy reading!_

**A nightmare**

The ghosts haunted her. Every night. Were it ghosts? Shadows? Kirika ran faster. Cold, white fingers grabbed her."Demon! Demon! Gotcha!", they screamed. Suddenly they let her go. She looked at the long corridor in front opf her. It was dark, she couldn't see anything, but she went through it. After a few metres she saw a small shadow in front of her. As she aprroached, the shadow turned itself around so that it faced her. She snapped back as she saw it's face – it was Mireille! Ane she was all over with blood... Kirika screamed as loud as she could.

1. The night

Mireille woke up with a start. She turned to Kirika who shouted as if the devil himself was after her. Mireille sat up, put her hands onto Kirikas shoulders and shook her awake. Kirika shivered and opened her eyes. Her breathing raced. "Kirika, what's wrong?" Mireille asked, afraid of the answer. Kirika only looked at her, then started to cry so that her whole body was shaking. Mireille embraced her immediately. "Shhhhh... what is it, my love?" Kirika nuzzled against her. "I...I was so scared... there were... so many hands...", Kirika stuttered and buried her face in Mireille's neck. "Fear..."; she whispered and began to sob. Her body shivered violently. "Shhhhhh... it's alright...", Mireille said softly," I'm with you... no need to be afraid. I protect you." She stroke Kirika's back to calm her down. Kirika clinged to Mireilles nightshirt. Mireille gently kissed her on the forehead, then she layed down again, with Kirika still in her arms. "Mireille?" Kirika asked softly. "Hm?",was the answer. "Don't ever leave, okay? I could not bear that..." "Of course I won't. You know I never will. I love you, Kirika." Mireille had never realised it before, but now she knew it was true, She loved Kirika with all her heart and soul. Kirika suddenly trembled. The ghost came into her mind again. "Help me, Mireille! MAKE THEM GO AWAY!Please...", she screamed.

Mireille felt so useless. She hold Kirika closer to herself. "Kirika, what did you see? What haunted you?" "It... it was you... Were you dead? I don't know... all this blood... so terrible..." Kirika cried harder. "Nothing's so empty like a world without you..." Mireille hugged her so that she could protect her body from any perils. She crashed her against her. "Shhhhhh... calm down. Nothing will happen to me.", she tried to encourage Kirika. Kirika whimpered. Mireille's shirt was all wet from Kirikas tears, but she didn't care. Slowly Kirika calmed down. Mireille gently stroke her face. Kirika pressed her face in Mireilles neck. Mireille reached out behind her and turned on the small lamp. She held Kirika so tight it almost hurt her. "Look, there's nobody in here. Just you and me. You know, I'll never cause you pain or take anything away from you. I love you, Kirika." Kirika kept her eyes shut, afraid to see any of those horrible pictures of her dream again. Mireille caressed her wet cheek, then shyly touched Kirikas lips with her own. Kirika relaxed a bit, Mireille breathed quietly. "Alright now...?", she asked finally. Kirika nodded. "Really?" "Yes..." It was barely a whisper, but Mireille understood. She turned the light off and closed her eyes. She kissed Kirika on the forehead and said softly:"I'll alway be here... Don't be afraid." She let her fingers run through Krikas hair until they both fell asleep.

_To be continued..._

_I will update soon!_

_Please review, ok? thank you!_


	2. The next day

_**So here it is, the second chapter.**_

_**It really didn't take long writing it...**_

_**I was so bored, so I wrote the whole day.**_

_**Enjoy it.**_

**A nightmare – Chapter 2**

Kirika woke up first. She glanced at her blond partner before she stood up and went to the kitchen. She felt guilty for waking Mireille in the middle of the night, so she thought abeout making breakfast for Mireille.

She heard Mireille breathing heavily as she made some toast. A smile came onto her face. She made some tea and cooked omeletts. When she was done she put it all onto a tray and brought it into the bedroom. "Mireille...", she called softly,"Wake up..." Mireille opened her eyes and looked at her. "...morning...", she mumbled. "I made breakfast for you." Kirika put the tray in Mireille's lap. "Oh... thank you. Why did you do that?" "because I disturbed you while you're asleep. I'm so sorry..." Mireille reached out and stroke Kirikas cheek. "You don't need to feel sorry for that. It's not your fault that those nightmares always haunt you. I don't blame you for that." Kirika looked to the floor. "But... Mireille... I still don't understand how you could ever forgive me for what I did to you..." Mireille pulled the small girl to her. "What does it mean when I forgive you if you can't forgive yourself? It's not you who killed my family. I don't think so. It was that damned Altena who... made you do that... I don't blame you for anything. Believe me. I don't." Kirika put her arms around Mireilles neck. "Thank you Mireille... thank you... I love you." "I love you, too."

When Mireille was finished with her breakfast, she got up and got dressed. She chose to wear a long jeans with a white blouse. Kirika looked at her. _How can anyone be so beautiful?_ she thought to herself. "What is it? Do I looke strange?",Mireille asked, surprised Kirika looking at her like that. "No, it's just...", Kirika blushed,"It's just... you're so beautiful, Mireille..." Mireille made a step forward and met Kirikas brown eyes. "Thank you..." She lifted one hand and combed through Kirikas hair with her fingers. Then she pulled her closer, closed her eyes and kissed her gently. _Mmmmmm, I love you, Mireille..._ Kirika was only able to think that one thing. Her arms found their way around Mireilles slim waist. When they broke the kiss for air, Mireille softly whispered:" I love you..." Kirika relaxed in her embrace. "I love you, too...",she answered. Her head rested on Mireilles chest. They stood there for a long time in silence, just listening to each other's breathing. Then Mireille asked:"What about a walk to the park?" Kirika nodded.

They sat on a small bench and watched the people around them. It was a nice day, only a few clouds hanging at the blue sky, the birds sang their songs, Kirika rested her head against Mireilles shoulder, Mireille held Kirikas hand in her own. Sometimes she stroke it gently. Kirika sighed and closed her eyes. She listened to the sounds around her. She heard some children shout, some people talk and laugh and the birds chirp. And she wished she had a normal life. She wished she could laugh and have fun like everyone else. She wished that she could forget what she'd done. Her thoughts stopped as Mireille began to play with her hair. "What're you thinking?" _Being normal. _"Nothing at all."_Liar._ "You looked scared. Nightmare again? Please tell me." "I... just wished we would be happier." Mireille sighed sadly. "Yes... but I am really... happy that you are with me... that you... didn't leave me alone." "I never will." "Neither do I." They were silent again. Kirika looked to the lake in front or them. The ducks flew around, swam and quacked. "Mireille?" "Hm?" "I love being with you, here..." Mireille gave her a small smile.

After a long time they went through the crowded streets of Paris. "You wanna have a drink?", Mireille asked. "Hm."Kirika made a positive sound. "Alright then. That way." They turned to the left and sat down at a nice cafe. Mireille ordered a coffee, Kirika took some tea. They drank slowly. They glanced at each other with tender gazes. It was like they couldn't take their eyes off each other.

When they left, Kirika slipped her hand into Mireilles and gave it a loving squeeze. Mireille smiled at her happily. So they walked home hand in hand.

When they arrived at the small appartment it was already late in the evenings.

Mireille went into the bathroom to have a shower. Whilst that Kirika stood by the window and looked outside to the bright moon. It's light shined onto her face. She was so lost in thoughts that she didn't realize Mireille aprroaching her from behind. She jumped when Mireille hugged her, bgut quickly calmed down and relaxed in Mireilles embrace. "Come to bed?" Mireille asked with low voice. Kirika nodded, so Mireille lifted her in her arms and took her to bed. They layed down in each other's arms. "Mireille?" "Yes?" "I'm afraid... what when the nightmare comes again?" She shivered. "I'm with you. Don't worry." After some time they fell asleep.

_Again. I'm here again. Don't... I don't wanna... no... NO!_

Kirika was in the corridor again. Her legs moved automatically to the small frame in front of her. Again it turned around, again it was Mireille, again all over with blood and again with those empty, dark eyes... It grew more and more until it was much taller than Kirika was. She ran away, but it hunted her. It cried, made very strange noises and came closer. It was fast. Too fast. 'As it was just about to catch Kirika she felt like falling. Her dream changed. She was on a hill now. On top of it she saw a big cross, like the one in the bible where Jesus died. She went up the hill, rounded it and held her breath. It wasn't Jesus hanging on it, it was Mireille! "What did you do?" ,Mireille Shouted at her,"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Kirika shook her head and screamed again.

Mireille felt Kirika trembling in her arms. "Kirika.Kirika!",she called. Her partner awoke, afraid. "Kirika, shhhhhh, nothing's here!" Kirika finally opened her eyes. She started crying. Mireille pulled her closer. "Nighmare again?", she asked softly. Kirika only cried harder. "Oh dear, what did they just do to my cute Kirika...? Damn Les Soldats..." "You...you died... and it was my fault...", Kirika whimpered. "What!" Mireille was surprised. "My... no... I'll never leave you." "I know.", Kirika cried into Mireilles chest. Mireille gently stroke her back. Kirika clung to her body."Try to get some rest. Don't worry 'bout me.", Mireille said. Kirika did.

**_So, that's 2nd part. Third one will follow soon. Thx for reading!_**


	3. A day out, and the next dream

_**First, I want to thank LeMay for the review (Thaaaaaaaaank you .)!**_

_**So, now here's 3rd chapter of „A nightmare".**_

_**Have fun with it.**_

**A nightmare – Chapter 3**

When Mireille woke up, Kirika was still asleep. She looked at her, and she smiled. She looked so in peace right now. Mireille was happy so see her like that.

Slowly and carefully she got out of the bed and went into the living room. She stood by the window for a long time, just watching the streets of Paris and thinking about Kirika.

_What shall I do now? What if that nightmare haunted her again? I can't help her, it confuses me... ah, Mireille, don't worry, the nighmare will disappear..._

_You don't believe that yourself, silly._

She put her hands to her head and closed her eyes, thinking.

She did not even realize the small person behind her.

When Kirika came up to her and embraced her, she smiled. "Good morning, my love.", Mireille whispered. She put her arms around her partner. "... morning...", came the answer. Kirika nuzzled against the taller woman's body. "How do you feel?", Mireille asked. "Good.", Kirika said with low voice. "Last night you... you..."

"I know. I dreamed again. I'm sorry, did I wake you again?" "No problem, I don't care to be awaken by you, no matter what time it is." She smiled a beautiful smile at Kirika. Kirika blushed and looked to the floor. Mireille put one hand under Kirikas chin and gently pushed her head up. "Don't hide from me, you don't need to... Please, don't do that." Kirika nodded embarrassed. "Alright.", Mireille said," Then let's get something to eat, or aren't you hungry?"

--

They went to a nice restaurant and ordered breakfast. They ate in silence, no one of them said a word, but it seemed like Mireilles gaze was stuck on Kirika. She always watched her, but Kirika didn't feel uncomfortable. She felt... good somehow. Safe. Protected.

When they were finished, they walked through the crowded streets of Paris. Kirika shyly slipped her hand into Mireilles. Mireille looked at her and smiled affectionately, which made Kirika smile back at her love.

"Mireille?"

"What is it?"

"You're so beautiful..."

Mireille gave her hand a loving squeeze.

"So are you."

They walked and walked, just don't know where to go. Finally. the arrived at a botique, Mireille watched the clothes in the shop window.

"Awww, that one's cute!", she admitted. Kirika looked at the "cute" pullover. Really, it looked nice. Before Kirika knew what was going on Mireille had taken her into the botique. She took the pullover. "Could you try it on, please?", she asked. Kirika smiled and nodded. She went into a cabine and put it on. She looked at herself in the mirror before coming out and showing herself to Mireille.

"Really beautiful.", Mireille said.

"You think so?", Kirika asked.

Mireille made a step forward so that she was next to Kirika.

"Yes, I do. You're beautiful. What do you think? shall we take it?"

Kirika looked at herself one more time, then she quietly said: "Yes."

"Alright then, come on." Mireille reached out and combed through Kirikas tousled hair with her fingers. Kirika gave her a small smile, then went into the cabine again.

When she was finished, they payed the pullover and left.

They went to many many boutiques and shops after that, and when they were finished, it was already lunch time.

"This time, you gotta chose where to eat.", Mireille said happily.

Kirika smiled. "What do you think about... italian food?", she asked Mireille.

"Sounds good.", Mireille told her.

They went into an italian restaurant. Kirika ordered spaghetti bolognese, Mireille took a pizza with tunafish.

When they finished eating they returned to their small apartment. Kirika sat down at the billiard table, Mireille stood by the window.

Sitting there, the nightmare came into Kirikas mind. She was afraid. Afraid of going to bed today. It sent shivers down her spine.

"Kirika? You okay?", Mireilles voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Euh, yes, I guess so."

Mireille stared at her unbelieving. "You look scared."

Kirika lowed her head. "I... I am scared..."

While she said that, Mireille went up to her and embraced her.

"From that damned nighmare, right?"

Kirika nodded. Mireille let out a sigh.

"I understand. It must be horrible."

Kirika didn't move. A tear made it's way down her cheek. Mireille gently wiped it away. "Shhhhhhh... Please, don't cry... " But Kirika couldn't stop. The tears came, she was unable to stop them. She buried her face in Mireilles neck. Mireille caressed her wet face. Kirika realized that Mireille was the onlx one who could give her al the comfort she needed. Even if Mireille could not chase away the ghosts, she was able to make Kirika strong. Strength was what she needed now.

--

The night came. It was a cold, rainy night. Kirika lay awake, Mireille was sleeping. A thunder storm began. The light was blending, the thunder was so loud, Kirika wondered how Mireille was able to sleep. Her thoughts were focused on her nighmare again. She didn't know if it would ever leave her, though she hoped it would. She felt she was tired, so she turned around an closed her eyes. After a few minutes she was asleep.

--

_Is she sleeping now? I think so, her breathing is so rythmic. Hope she doesnt't dream 'bout whatever she's afraid of again. _

After hours, Mireille was awaken by a scream. It sounded like someone was eaten alive. She sat up and realized that it was Kirika who was screaming like that. Immediately she called "Kirika!" and lifted the girl up into her arms. "MIREIIIIIIIIILLE!", Kirika cried. "Shhhhhhhhhhhhh, I'm here, Kirika! Wake up!", Mireille shouted. Kirika opened her eyes, breathing heavily. It seemed like she'd never been as scared as now. Her whole body was shaking. Mireille rocked her gently, Kirika calmed down very slowly, but fear didn't leave her.

_Oh my good, what was that? Wonder what she dreamed..._

Kirika started to cry. "Mireille...", she breathed.

"What is it?"

"Don't let go...", Kirika begged. Mireille pulled Kirika closer.

"No." Kirika relaxed a bit. Mireille managed them to lie down again. She combed tenderly through Kirikas hair. She wished she could hold her like that forever, to protect her from whatever she fears, to make her strong, to love her.

"Mireille...?"

"Yes?"

"I just... I just want you to know that I... feel safe with you."

That earned a gentle squeeze.

"And that I love you."

"I love you, too."

_God, I am so tired... But I won't sleep if she's still frightened. _

So Mireille waited for Kirika to fall asleep. Kirika realized that, she feigned sleep. After a very short time she heard Mireille breathing rithmic, a sign that the blonde was sleeping now.

_Don't worry 'bout me, Mireille. I'll make it. You shouldn't care for me that much, remember what I've done to you... How can you even tell me that you love me? After all the pain I caused, you still say that you love me..._

_I wish I would deserve it._

**_Pretty please... review?_**


	4. Cinema

**_So here I am again. Thanks for all the reviews, I'm glad . I am very sorry that it takes so long, that you had to wait so long for this chapter, but school is very hard in the moment and I don't have much time for my stories, excuse me. But I'll try to write as fast as I can._**

_**So let's start with Chapter 4...**_

A nightmare – Chapter 4

When Kirika woke up it was still early in the mornings. She glanced to the left. The blonde was still asleep. Carefully Kirika left the bed and got dressed. She went outside.

_Need some fresh air..._

It was a nice, but cold morning. She went through the streets and arrived at the park. A small smile came on her face as she made her way to a bench and sat down. Many people looked at her while going along the way. Kirika ignored them and was instead thinking about her nightmare.

_Again I saw it all. Why does it have to be...? It's always the same... Mireille is dying, and me, I can't do anything against it... Every night it's getting more horrible to watch it. I wish it would stop. I wish I could forget..._

She sat there for a very long time. Then Mireille came into her mind and she realized that she had to go home. Sure Mireille was worried about her.

_Why does she care for me that much...?_

Kirika thought while going home. It was all so confusing. She always dreamed of Mireille. During the day it were pleasant dreams, at night it were awful ones.

She unlocked the door and entered the small apartment she shared with her love.

"Kirika?", Mireilles voice came from the kitchen.

"Yes." It wasn't really an answer, just a statement of truth.

Mireille came to her. "Hey, what's wrong with you?", she asked.

"I'm alright... sorry for making you worry."

Mireille gave her a warm smile and wrapped one arm around Kirikas shoulder. "No problem." Kirika smiled, leaned to Mireille and kissed her. Mireilles smile became even bigger, she asked softly "How 'bout breakfast?" Kirika nodded and followed the corsican woman into the living room. They sat down at the billiard table where breakfast was waiting. Kirika happily looked at her partner and started eating.

No thought was wasted to that damned nightmare.

--

In the evenings they went out to the cinema.

"So, what are we going to watch?", Mireille asked, more herself than Kirika. The blonde studied the posters, then she suggested: " 'Caught between two different worlds', what about that?"

Kirika looked at the advertisement, then she answered:" Sounds good..."

"Alright then, let's go."

She took Kirikas hand and bought two tickets. They went into the hall and sat down. After a few minutes the movie began.

Kirika watched it just for a short time. Instead she glanced to Mireille who was intently staring at her, completely ignoring the movie.

"What is it?", Kirika asked.

Mireille smiled, shook her head and answered:

"Nothing. I was just wondering how beautiful you are..."

Kirika lowered her head.

"You don't mean that..."

Mireille sighed and wrapped her arms around Kirika.

"Of course I do. You ARE beautiful. Don't try to deny it!"

Kirika let out a small laughter.

"What am I compared to you?"

"If you think so... then don't compare yourself with me. But believe me, I really think that you are beautiful."

Kirka leaned to Mireille and whispered quietly:

"Thank you..."

Mireille kissed her gently on the forehead and stroked Kirikas cheek. Kirika closed her eyes.

_How can she think about me like that? Look at her, she's the one who's beautiful, not me... I think she really loves me. _

_...she loves me..._

_It feels so wonderful._

_She must be an angel._

_...'cause who but an angel could love someone like me...?_

_Mireille..._

_I can't tell you how much you mean to me. I wish it had been like this... but without Les Soldats, without Althena, and without... without Chloé. _

_...I know she loved me..._

_But in my dreams... it's always her who kills Mireille..._

_I can never ever forgive her that. For this, I hate her. I wish I wouldn't have to watch it every night. It hurts. It hurts so much..._

A single tear made it's way down Kirikas cheek. Then she bursted into tears, clinged to Mireille and never wanting to let her go. Mireille was slightly surprised, she held Kirika to herself and asked softly:

"What is it, petite? Did I hurt you?"

Kirika shook her head.

"No... it's just... " She sobbed, "It's just... I love you, Mireille..."

"But why are you crying...?"

Again she shook her head.

"Tell me. Please... I can't take it to see you crying..."

"I... can't..."

It was barely a whisper, but Mireille understood. She pulled Kirika closer.

_If she can't tell me, then that's it. I know it can be hard to tell someone what worries you. I understand. Alright, then. Maybe later she will be able to tell me what's in her mind. I'll be waiting. _

Now they focused on the movie. Kirika stopped crying, but still didn't let Mireille go. Mireille combed through Kirikas hair, it calmed her down. Now she tried to understand what the movie was about:

A young woman, who didn't have a family and has to figure out her life. Kirika watched... and found herself in that girl. She could compare her own life with this movie.

_... But it's a movie... How can I find myself in a movie? She is just like me... she doesnt't know who she is, and she doesn't have any friends... stop, but I DO have a friend, don't I? I've got Mireille... and Mireille... is not only a "friend". That wonderful woman loves me. Like I do love her._

_Love._

_I never knew what it meant to be loved. Mireille showed me. She showed me so much, I thnink I can never thank her enough._

Mireille looked at her partner.

_Wonder what she thinks right now..._

_Look at her, she's so pretty, she should be so happy, but... I think it's my fault, too. I tried too long to resist it... to resist my feelings. She needed it so much, but I ignored it. _

_...I'm such an uncaring monster..._

_Why couldn't I just give her what she needed? I wanted it, too, but... I always told myself that I shouldn't feel like that about her. Maybe I still shouldn't. But now... now I don't care anymore. I love her, and that's all I've got to tell her. All I've got to give her. I hope I can heal her wounds... I hope it's enough. I'll try as good as I can. She needs me, now, when this damned nightmare haunts her every night. Maybe she can tell me what she sees... so that I can try to help her._

_But what can I do...?_

"Mireille?"

Kirika's soft voice interrupted her thoughts.

"What is it?"

"I just wondered why... why you are looking at me like that..."

Mireille smiled.

"It's nothing.", she answered and turned back to the movie, but her thoughts were still focused on Kirika.

_Oh, ma petite Kirika... I wish I could help you. I wish I could take away your fears... But I can't... Gotta wait for tonight. Maybe the nightmare dissapeared..._

_Mireille, you don't belive that yourself._


	5. Kill me

**_So now, Chapter five… I guess i'll try to write even faster… it's funny _**

A nightmare – Chapter 5

"Shhhhh..."

Since five minutes Mireille tried to calm Kirika down, but Kirika's tears continued, she was unable to stop crying. Finally she released herself from Mireilles embrace and took her gun. She turned it and handled it to Mireille.

"Kill me. Please kill me. I don't want to live anymore."

Mireille stared at her, unbelieving if she had heard right.

_She asks me to kill her after I begged her to live? Why? What can be so horrible that she asks me to kill her?_

"Kirika, you know I could never do this. I could never kill you. I'd rather kill myself than doing THAT."

Kirika shook her head.

"No..."

"I love you, Kirika."

Kirika sobbed.

"NO, you... you shouldn't love me, you shouldn't..."

She pointed her gun at her temple, ready to shoot.

"NO, KIRIKA, NO!", Mireille screamed and jumped to her just one second before she could pull the trigger. Mireille grabbed the gun and threw it away.

Kirika fell into her arms.

"Don't... do... that again...", Mireille begged.

_Why does she hurt me like this? I love her, she knows it, how can she ask me to kill her? How can she...?_

Mireille pressed the small body of her partner against herself. Her arms were wrapped tight around Kirika. Kirika just cried harder.

"Why do you love me? Why do you even care for me..."

"Does this really matter? Does it matter why I love you? Does it matter why I care for you? Does it matter what you did? I don't care about the past, I only want you to be with me... If you were dead, why should I go on living? What reason would I have to live that stupid life? Now, I'm living just for you... not for me or anyone else, but for you. Don't you ever leave me... please... don't..."

Kirika raised her head and looked into Mireilles eyes.

"I'm sorry...", she breathed, with such a low voice Mireille could hardly hear her.

"Kirika, I know you hurt me, but didn't I hurt you, too? Didn't I send you away? Didn't I even try to kill you? We both hurt each other..."

"But what bigger sin could there be than making you an orphan...?", Kirika whispered.

"But this doesn't change the fact that I love you! I forgave you that. I don't blame you for what you did, believe me, I do NOT blame you for anything! And this is why I could never kill you... "

Kirika shook her head.

_She does not blame me... she does not..._

Mireille was despairing. And in of sheer desperation she shouted: "Stop it, Kirika, stop it, I LOVE YOU!"

She began to cry.

"Why do I have to beg you to live? Why... What does my forgiveness mean if you can't even forgive yourself? Why are you hurting me so...?"

Kirika whimpered. She pulled Mireille to herself and said again and again:

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry..."

Mireille pressed the small frame against her own body.

"Shhhhhhh... It's alright..."

_I have to help her to learn to forgive herself… If she can't, we have lost. Then we have lost our battle against les Soldats…_

Kirika clinged to Mireilles nightshirt.

"Shhhh... Don't you cry...", Mireille tried to help her.

_What can I do… It's not enough to hold her… This doesn't heal her wounds…_

Kirika wished she hadn't hurt Mireille. She wished she could take it all away... She just began to sing:

"…do you remember me?

I'm just a shadow now

This is where I used to be

right here beside you

sometimes I call your name

What I would give

to feel the sunlight on my face

What I would give

to be lost in your embrace

I'm falling from a distant star

come back

compare because I know

I'm caught between two different worlds

I long

for what I don't know

Do you believe in dreams?

That's how I found you

What I can be with you

To you take a lethal thing

What I would give

to feel the sunlight on my face

What I would give

to be lost in your embrace

I'm falling from a distant star

come back

compare because I know

I'm caught between two different worlds

I long

for what I don't know…"

Mireille gently stroke her wet face. Kirika closed her eyes. Mireille smiled sadly when Kirika stopped singing.

"I love you…", she whispered softly.

"And please believe me, you are very valuable for me, so I don't want to live without you... ok?"

"Hm…", Kirika nodded and raised her head to kiss Mireille.

"I'm sorry…", she whispered after she did.

They layed down to find some rest, but Mireille was so confused she couldn't sleep.

_She wants me to kill her… I could never do that. Hope she understands it now… I hope she won't ever leave me… like she did before…_

_But wasn't it a sign of love when I came to that stupid manor just to get her back? Just to get her out of her darkness and give her light or whatever she needs…?_

_I want to, I really want to give all my love to her, I want to be hers, I want to care for her, but how should I if she still can't forgive herself?_

_I have lost._

_I have lost._


	6. Ma petite

**_Thank you thank you thank you for all the reviews! THANK YOU sooooooo much! I love you, all of you! D_**

**_And YES, I used the song fallen by delerium, because I love this song, it's so WONDERFUL! Has anyone of you seen the AMV with this song? It's not about Kirika and Mireille, but about Kirika and that painter (His name was Milosh, I think), But I think it also works (or it even works better) with M&K. I'm sorry if the text is not right, I just wrote what I could understand... I hope it was not too bad _**

A nightmare – Chapter 6

_How could I ask her to kill me? Am I out of my mind? Or did I become crazy? How could I ask her to do such a thing? _

Kirika was angry with herself. How could she hurt the person she loved most in this world? She wanted to tell Mireille that she felt sorry for what she did, but the blonde was still asleep, and Kirika didn't want to disturb her. She never wanted to, but she couldn't hide her fear when the nightmare came. She needed Mireille then, that was something she couldn't deny. She never needed Mireille like she did now.

She reached out to touch Mireilles cheek. Carefully and gently she caressed Mireilles face.

…_must tell her how beautiful she is… My angel…_

Mireille didn't wake up, and she didn't stir. She just let out a long breath, like a sigh. Kirika smiled.

_She looks so in peace when she's sleeping… I am so sorry for making her worry about me… I love you Mireiyu._

She stroke Mireilles silky blond hair and kissed her cautiously on the forehead.

"I love you, Mireiyu…" She said quietly.

"I love you, too, petite." Mireille opened her eyes and smiled.

"Did I wake you…?" Kirika asked, she felt guilty.

"No.", Mireille whispered and pulled Kirika to herself in a tight hug. Kirika sighed. Mireille ran her fingers through Kirikas hair.

"Slept well?", she asked.

"Does it matter? I've got you…", Kirika answered. Mireille smiled. Then she took Kirikas face in her hands and kissed her.

"Ma petite amour…", she whispered after that, "I don't wanna get up…"

"Neither do I."

--

But they got up later. Mireille was cheking her e-mails while Kirika stood by the window and looked outside.

Mireille glanced to Kirika.

_I can't help her… I can't… _

She logged off , went to Kirika and embraced her from behind. Her head rested on Kirikas shoulder.

"Mireiyu…", Kirika breathed, "who am I? Tell me, what do you see when you look at me? Am I… a monster…?"

Mireille crashed her against herself, then she answered softly:

"I see a pretty girl who should be much happier. I see the only person I love, the only one who really matters in my life, and I cherish this love, and I'll never let you go. I don't know what's your real name, but I know that I love Kirika Yumura. And if somebody ever hurts you again, I'll kill him with my bare hands."

Kirika lowered her head.

"I only see a killer. Someone who should be hated, not loved by such a wonderful person like you are…"

Mireille turned Kirika around and looked at her. A tear made it's way down her cheek. Kirika was surprised.

_She's crying… She, who had always been the strong one, the one who is in control, and now she's crying and… and it's my fault…_

Kirika wiped the tear away.

"I'm sorry…", she said quietly.

Mireille shook her head violently.

"No… don't be…" She pulled Kirika to herself and kissed her. Kirikas knees became weak. She put her arms around Mireilles neck and kissed her back. She felt good now, and wished they'd never have to stop, but they needed to breathe. Kirika kept her eyes shut. She felt Mireilles hands onto her back. She leaned her head at Mireilles chest. Mireille kissed her on top of her head.

_She loves me… She doesn't blame me… She forgave me…_

Mireille was lost in her thoughts.

_Is she alright? Did I say something wrong? _

_I don't know._

_But our battle is not yet over. Not yet. But we are winning. I know it. She's strong enough. So am I. Les Soldats won't win. _

"Mireiyu?" Kirikas voice interrupted her.

"Hm?" She looked gently into Kirikas lovely eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes of course. And you, petite?"

"Me too." Kirika leaned to her, and Mireille kissed her again.

_My little Kirika… She so sweet and kind… and… broken. I must mend her her heart… but how can I? _

--

They went out for a walk to the park. When they arrived, it began to snow. Mireille held Kirikas hand in her own, stroking it gently. They went close to each other, because it was cold. Really cold. This was the first time Mireille realized how small Kirikas hand was. They went through the ways of the park, there were some birds flying away to hide from the snow.

_So I found a reason to stay alive… My love, my world Mireille. _

Kirika just smiled at Mireille and whispered softly:

"I love you, Mireille. I don't know how to love, but I love you."

Mireille answered with a loving kiss.

_So do I._

--

When the night came and they both sleept in their bed, the bad dreams came again. Kirika couldn't defend, she woke up, breathing heavily.

_This time I won't wake her, I won't-_

"Kirika…?" it was hardly a whisper, but Kirika had heard it. She turned to Mireille, who was sitting now and hugged her.

"Again?"Mireille asked.

Kirika nodded.

"When will this end, Mireille… I can't take it anymore."

"We'll make it. I promise."

"With you I can take any pain, Mireille. I can fight anyone, I swear. It's time to say goodbye to this damned nightmare. I won't give in."

"I'll always be there for you."

_We can make it. I know it. She's strong. Together, we'll win. _

_We'll win._

_**Oh yes, I thought it's cute if Mireille calls her "Petite", isn't it? **_

_**Alright then, again I thank you all for the reviews, I'm so glad**_

_**Next Chapter will follow soon, I promise!**_


	7. Deep thoughts

_**Huuuuhuuu **_

**_So here I am again with „a nightmare", again a new Chapter_**

**_I thank you again for all the reviews! (French translations in brackets)  
Mai: Ich habe meine andere Geschichte noch nicht vergessen, keine Sorge! Ich bin froh, dass dir meine Geschichten gefallen,DANKE für die reviews und die Tipps! hdl!_**

A nightmare – Chapter 7

This time it was Mireille who woke up first. She looked at Kirika, who was still asleep. She reached out to stroke Kirikas soft skin. Kirika took in a deep breath, but she didn't wake up.

_She looks so happy when she sleeps…_

_I wish she would forget about the past, like she did before._

_I always wished that for myself, though. I wished I could forget, I don't want to remember anything, I want to start a new life with her._

_But I think this is impossible. I just can't forget what I did. What we did. What Les Soldats did. _

_Tell me, what can I do to chase away my memories…?_

_What should I do?_

_I don't know. But I'll find a way to get it under control._

_I'll find a way._

_I'm sure. _

_I'll make it just for you, Kirika, ma petite amour. Je vais gagner avec toi. Je suis sure. Tu vais voir. (I'll win with you. I'm sure. You'll see.)_

She smiled a small smile at Kirika. Kirikas body moved slightly up and down with every breath she took. Mireilles thumb wandered over Kirikas cheeks, her forehead and then she carefully touched Kirikas lips.

Well, Kirika was not sleeping. She feigned sleep and enjoyed Mireilles touch.

_She's touching me…_

_It feels so good. I feel… safe, protected, wanted… she wants me, she does not send me away, she cares for me… _

_She loves me._

"…Mireiyu…", Kirika called softly. Mireille smiled and answered,not surprised that Kirika was awake :

"Yes…"

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

Kirika reached out and touched Mireilles face. Mireille leaned forward and kissed her. Kirika was content. She deepened the kiss and closed her eyes. Mireilles lips tasted sweet and fresh, Kirika realized. Mireille was happy.

_Elle m'a donné sa coeur…(She gave me her heart…)_

_Je t'aime, petite.(I love you, petite)_

…_non, je t'adore._

She ran her fingers through Kirikas hair.

_Je vais te protèger. (I'll protect you)_

_Les mains noires protègent la paix des nouveaux-nés.(The black hands protect the sleep of the newborn)_

_C'est mon destin. Je sais.(This is my destiny. I know.)_

Mireille smiled. She knew it was some kind of destiny that she had met Kirika.

_I should thank them… I would have never met her… if they didn't make her kill my parents… But this is not her fault. She didn't want to. I don't blame her, I love her._

_Love her most when she does not deserve it, because then she needs it most._

_I know._

_But she always deserves it._

_She always does._

_I love you, Kirika. More than anything else in this cruel world._

This last sentence was voiced. Kirika gave Mireille a thankful look before kissing her again. Her head rested on Mireilles chest. No one of them thought about getting up this morning. Kirika felt so good here, in Mireilles arms, so comfortable, like nothing could ever hurt her again. But deep inside her mind she knew she was still afraid. The fear was still there, waiting to come out again. And there was something else inside her.

The killer. The assassin. The person who tried to kill Mireille some weeks ago, at the manor. Yes, she still remembered pointing her gun at Mireille, she still remembered killing Chloé to save Mireille. And she knew she would never be able to forget.

_I never wanted that. I never wanted anyone to die because of me. Except that damned woman Althena. She is the one who should be blamed. It's all her fault, she did it all, she's the one who gave me the gun to kill Mireilles parents, she made me forget. But she didn't realize this one memory she couldn't take away._

_My memory of Mireilles mother, Odette Bouquet._

_I will never forget what she told me._

_Hatred can never save._

_It never saved Chloé, never saved Althena, never saved Les Soldats._

_Love can kill._

_And love can save._

_Love saved me, love saved Mireille. _

_May there always be love for Mireille._

_My love._

Kirika had opened her eyes just now. She looked at Mireille, happy to see the content expression on Mireilles face. She loved the way Mireille smiled at her right now, and she felt herself blush. Mireille sighed happily and caressed Kirikas cheek. Kirika remembered the moment she jumped between Mireille and Althena to save her love. Her hand touched the scar of the shot. Mireilles hand followed hers, and she gently stroke this part of Kirikas body. She really took it as a sign of love. What more could you do to prove your love for somebody? Such a self-sacrificing gesture… Mireille was still impressed by that. She still wondered how much she must mean to Kirika if she does such a thing just to rescue Mireille. And now Mireille knew that she would of course do the same for Kirika. She couldn't imagine to live without her small, quiet partner. This just didn't sound real.

It just sounded like another nightmare.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_I know it's very short, but I can't think of anything else right now._**


	8. Emotions

_**I guess I can never thank you enough for the reviews :-)**_

**_If you hadn't told me what you think about my story, I wouldn't have go on writing it. But now, after so many reviews (and they were all positive O.O) I really wondered if my stories are so good… so here's the next chapter… This chapter is very much about their thoughts and their emotions because I think that emotions are the most important thing in this world, you can't live without them. I know they can be horrible, somtimes I really wish I didn't have them, but doesn't pain belong to life, too?_**

**_Enjoy._**

A nightmare – Chapter 8

_I don't need anything that people want me to need, I just need you when pain is trying to thrill me, I just need you to be there when my nightmares are calling, when my hopes keep on running to zero…_

_I don't understand your ways. Who am I that you are mindful of me? Your vow of love runs deep, you'll never leave me, the promise to you that I'll keep is:_

_I'm gonna love you. I'm gonna serve you, gonna give myself to you. _

_You are the one I trust. I love you._

_Because you set me free._

_No one ever made me feel like this. It's strange…because I don't know why you love me. But I am happy that you do. And I wanna thank you for everything you did, for every action that made me feel better. I don't know how to name this emotion I have right now, but I think it's love and… happyness. I am glad that you are here with me. Thank you, Mireille. Thank you… You're all I need… Let me fall into your arms. I think about you all the time. When you look into my eyes, my knees get weak, and I can't speak, the only thing I can do is lose my mind and kiss you… Hold you till the sun goes down and darkness comes again. And even then I don't let you go. I will always love you, I swear. _

Mireille remembered every single word Kirika had said yesterday. Mireille didn't hearKirika ever saying so much. Now the small Asian was sleeping in her arms. It was the first time she hadn't woken up because she had a nightmare. But Mireille knew it was not yet over. Not yet. These nightmares won't dissapear by now. It's not so long ago since they returned from the manor. Just three months, Mireille didn't think that Kirika would be through with this so fast. She realized that she herself sometimes dreamed of that day. She always woke up with a start then, breathing heavily.

_But I think Kirikas nightmares are worse than mine… Maybe she also remembers some time of her childhood, when Les Soldats reigned over her and made her a killer. I think this is not easy to bear… I can't imagine how much it must hurt her._

"…Mireille…", Kirika whispered softly.

"Yes."

"…good mornin'…"

"Good morning. How do you feel?"

"Alright…"

"Sure?"

"Hm…" Kirika nodded and nuzzled against Mireilles warm body. Mireille smiled. She ran her fingers through Kirikas hair.

_I love her hair… it's always so tousled, but this doesn't make her look any less beautiful._

Kirika smiled her cute smile and opened her eyes. Mireille pulled her gently to herself and kissed her tenderly. Kirika kissed her back, opened her mouth and let Mireilles tongue in. Slowly her mind became dizzy. It felt so wonderful. She put her arms around Mireilles slim waist, feeling Mireilles soft skin against her own.

_I love you Mireille. That's all I know, all I want to know. Somehow I wish I wouldn't know about my past, I wish I wouldn't know what I did. It was me. I killed them. I was the murderer. I can never compensate for this. I can only love you, Mireille. Nothing less, but I think nothing more, too. I can only love you._

_But maybe this is enough for you…?_

Kirika raised her head and looked into Mireilles eyes, trying to find an answer inside these blue dephts.

"What a look you're giving me… what is it, petite?"

Kirika gave her a small smile.

"It's nothing, Mireille."

"Alright.", Mireille sighed and closed her eyes. She put one hand onto Kirikas cheek and stroke her gently. Kirika still looked at Mireille.

_They don't know… They can't see who we really are, what we did… They don't know us. I will sacrifice everything I have to be able to live with you, Mireille… With you I'm there, standing… and your arms around me… can you help me? Hold me… Take my memories from me… Whatever they say, I won't trust… But I hate them… And I don't think that feelings… emotions… can be controlled. You can't control your heart. I know it. You know it. And there's no mercy for the lost, no soothing for the sad. The world is cruel, I realized. And we can't change it. I can't change it, I can't change my life, even if I want to. And I can't ask you to do anything for me. You've done more than enough. I would say you've done too much for me… I still remember the first time we met. You didn't want to take me with you, but I played the melody, and you changed your mind. You said I knew "it". Well, I didn't know what you meant by "it". Then You took me with you, back to Paris, into your apartment where you lived all on your own. I know it was a big adjustment for you, and I am sorry. I looked around in the small flat and I realized there was only one bed. You didn't mention and you didn't care to sleep in one bed with me. I mean, you didn't even know who I was, I myself didn't knnow, and we are assassins, sleeping in one bed… I really wondered why you trusted me that much… I trusted you since the very first time I saw you standing in front of me. I always wished for you to open up, to show your feelings, but you were so cold. It really made me sad. I loved you. I don't know when I realized that I felt strange, but somehow good when I was with you, when you looked at me and when you cared for my wounds or something like that. I don't remember the first time I thought I would love you, but I knew I did. And now I am quite sure that you love me, too. I understand that you tried to resist it. I did so, too. I always told myself that this is wrong, that it's not good to fall in love with you, because I always thought you didn't feel the same. Yoiu are good in hiding your feelings. Assassins are good in hiding their feelings. But the more time I spend with you, the more I learn to read your mind, I learn to feel what you feel._

_The first time I saw you crying I thought I would die. It was when you came back from Corsica. You told me what Chloé had told you, then you bursted into tears. I felt so sorry for you, I wanted to embrace you, but my sense told me not to so. I wanted so much to help you, seeing you, it killed me… I couldn't do anything, it didn't understand all those actions and the connection between all these things. It was all so confusing._

_I still don't understand. _

_But does it matter anymore?_

_Do I still care?_

_I only care for you, Mireille._

"What are you thinking, love…?", Mireille asked quietly. Kirika smiled and shook her head.

"Everything… but nothing at all. Thinkin' about you, Mireille. I love you…", Kirika answered.

"I love you, too.", Mireille whispered softly. Then they kissed again. Kirika forgot everything, She forgot Les Soldats, her and Mireilles past, her pain, her sadness, her memories…

The only thing she felt right now was the touch of Mireilles lips.


	9. Not yet won

**_to Baghira75: Danke für das review! Ich werde deine Geschichte gerne mal lesen, interessiert mich schon ;)_**

_**So I have to tell something about her nightmare again, eh?**_

_**Alright… so enjoy.**_

A nightmare – Chapter 9

They spent the whole morning in silence, just laying there, close to each other. Kirikas head rested at Mireilles chest, her arms were wrapped around Mireilles waist. Mireille held her in a tight hug, running her fingers through Kirikas hair. Kirika was happy. Happy and content with her life, even if it was just for this time.

"I love you, petite.", Mireille whispered softly.

"I love you, too…", Kirika answered with low voice. She raised one hand to stroke Mireilles face. Mireille smiled lovely at her, then leaned down and kissed Kirika. While their lips touched Kirikas body went crazy. She became dizzy again, it felt so wonderful, so tenderly, so good. Kirika could never explain it.

_I think I was waiting for this whole my life… I was waiting for love. Waiting for you, Mireille, my dear. I can't imagine to live without you… If you would go away, I think I would die. I could not bear this._

_I could never bear losing you._

When they pulled apart to breathe Mireille looked at Kirika.

"What are you thinking, my love?", she asked quietly.

"You.", it was simply an answer, everything Kirika had to say, but it meant very much to Mireille.

"It's always the same… I think of nothing but you, Mireiyu. Nothing but you."

Mireille smiled and they kissed again. It became a deep, loving kiss. The sensation of Mireilles warm lips made Kirika shiver. Her heart was racing.

"Mireille…? Why do people fall in love? What is love?"

Mireille looked at her, slightly puzzled.

"I don't know how to describe love… it's more than words can say…" She took Kirikas hand and put it over her heart. "Do you feel it?"

"Yes… but how can I say 'I love you' when love is more than words can say?"

Mireille let out a small laughter. Then she kissed her again.

"Just do it like this.", she suggested. Kirikas happy smile told her Kirika liked this answer. Mireille was not quite sure if it was the right answer, but she couldn't think of any better selutions. She had sometimes asked herself this question when she had been alone, and she had never found a good answer.

"I don't know why people fall in love, I just know that they do. And you can't control it."

_I can't control it. No one can control it. I did not want to fall in love, but I did. And now that I am in love – and thank god with my cute Kirika – I do not want to stop loving you. And I won't._

_I love you, Kirika. I love you._

_I know there are many shadows in your life. I know it's hard to fight them. I know you are scared. Day and night. I see it in your eyes. Your beautiful hazel eyes. I see all your pain, all your tears which are still uncried, and it hurts me to see you suffer. I wish I could do something, anything, but…_

_I don't know._

_But I'll do what I can._

…_I'll chase away your fears._

_I'm sure I can._

Mireille smiled at Kirika.

_Of course I can._

Her smile became even bigger. And then it disappeared.

_They took you away from me. They took your soul away. _

_Les Soldats._

_I hate them._

_They are the cause of all this. _

_They brought you nightmares, they brought destruction and despair. I can never forgive that. I can never feel safe while they are still excisting. It's like a prison, they don't let us go. I wish I could forget them and what they've done. But this does not work. It never will. _

_God, if you excist, kill them._

_Painfully and slowly._

_Kill them._

"You wanna go out a bit?", Mireille asked softly. Kirika looked at her, then answered :

"Yes."

--

They went out, slowly walking through the crowded streets of Paris. Hand in hand. Kirika was so happy. She could show everyone that she loves that wonderful woman. And the Corsican loved her, too. It made her proud. And sometimes it made her cry. But these were tears of happiness. Kirika smiled to herself. She did not really know why she cried, but she didn't feel sad then. It made her feel better. She gave Mireilles hand a loving squeeze, making the blonde look at her. When Mireille saw Kirikas smile, she let out a small laughter.

"So ma petite is happy today.", Mireille guessed, smiling.

Kirika nodded and looked into Mireilles blue eyes.

"Yes.", she said.

"Well, where shall we go?", Mireille asked, more herself than Kirika.

"I don't know… um, maybe to the park…", Kirika suggested. Mireille thought about it, then she said:

"Okay, why not?"

So they went to park.

Excactly, they always went to the park. It was never getting boring. Mireille enjoyed being there with Kirika. It didn't really matter where to go as long as she was with Kirika.

_It won't do going there alone, because without you it would be meaningless._

_This is just unreal._

_Going to the park without you._

_I know how these things begin. _

_Love._

_Love makes you do crazy things. It makes you… sing, dance, I don't know. You think about everything but nothing, and you think about the person you love. No matter what you do, you think about this person._

_But it won't do to only dream of you._

_I know I need you right here beside me. Where you are right now. I am so happy. So happy, Kirika. I can't explain. _

They arrived at the big meadow, went along the way at sat down onto a bench.

A long time they sat there.

"It's getting cold.", Mireille commented.

"Yes. Fall is coming.", Kirika said.

Mireille nodded.

_Fall… So long ago since I met Kirika. Wasn't it january…? I'm not quite sure, but I guess so. _

_I think, in some ways, I should thank Les Soldats for connecting our destinies._

_Thank you._

_But this doesn't change the fact that I hate you, all of you._

A raindrop interrupted her thoughts. After a few minutes it started raining. But Mireille and Kirika didn't hurry going home. They saunted through the city, making their way home.

When they arrived at their small apartment, they were all wet, the water running through their hair and clothes. After them both having a warm shower Kirika made some tea.

They sat there in silence, drinking from time to time.

Somehow they didn't get bored. Kirika felt comfortable, just sitting there and watching Mireille drinking her tea. It calmed her down. She felt relaxed, good. Mireille reached out and touched Kirikas hand, gently stroking it. Kirika smiled softly. Then she leaned forward, seeing Mireille do the same before closing her eyes and kissed her. Kirika felt… warmth. It felt good. Wonderful. Like always, but different. She couldn't explain this emotion running through her body everytime they kissed.

--

It was getting evening. The sun went down, darkness came. And with darkness, the nightmares came again. Kirika couldn't refuse to scream. The more she tried to stop, the worse it was getting. Mireille woke up, realized what was going on and pulled Kirika into a tight embrace.

"Shhhhhh, Kirika, it's alright… Calm down, I'm here, don't worry."

Kirika breathed heavily.

"Mireille", she whispered, the bursted into tears.

Mireille crashed the small body against herself and ran her fingers through Kirikas hair.

"Shhhhh…"

_When will this end…?_

_She suffers, everynight, because of nightmares, because of them._

_What can I do…_

_What shall I do…_

_Shit. _

_Need to find a way to get her out of this. But we won't give in to despair, we'll win our fight. I know. Somehow. I do not yet know how, but we will._

_Right, Kirika, my love…?_

_I'm sure. I'll do anything to make it real. This is gotta be our goal._

_To chase away this damned nightmare and live a free, happy life together. That's all I want, all I wish. That's not asking to much, is it?_

… _**nothing more to say…**_

_**I have to take some time to write the next chapter.**_

_**Could take a little longer as usual. I'm sorry.**_

_**Really, I do not have much time…**_

…


	10. Dance with me

_**Ahhhhhhhhh, yes, I wrote a new chapter… **_

_**I'm sorry for making you wait such a long time, but there were more ideas for two other stories, I wasn't able to focus on "a nightmare", but here it is, the new chapter, enjoy :)**_

_**WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BEG FOR SOME REVIEWS:'(**_

A nightmare – Chapter 10

Kirika opened her eyes. She realized that she was alone in the bedroom.

"Mireille…", she murmured, then stood up and went into the livingroom. Mireille wasn't there. Kirika wondered where she could be.

_Mireille, where have you gone?_

She dressed up herself and made some tea. While she was drinking Mireille came in.

"Oh, good morning.", Mireille said, Kirika saw that the blonde felt guilty.

"Good morning.", she answered.

Mireille sat down next to Kirika and took her hand.

"I'm sorry.", she whispered.

"For what?", Kirika asked quietly.

"For leaving you alone without any message."

"It's alright, don't worry."

"...", Mireille smiled.

"Thank you." She leaned forward and kissed Kirika.

"I brought something for us.", She told her afterwards. She took a CD.

"Oh, what's that?", Kirika asked.

"It's a CD with music for dancing.", Mireille said happily, got up and went to the radio to turn on the music.

"Come on, dance with me, Kirika.", She called on. Kirika stood up and came to her.

"It's slow music, so we have to dance slowly. Just follow me." She made Kirika put her arms around her neck and put her own arms around Kirikas waist. Then it came from alone. The moved to the music, Kirika closed her eyes, leaned her head against Mireilles chest and sighed.

_I never thought about dancing with Kirika… Though I always loved dancing. Strange._

_But it's fun. It… makes me feel good somehow, holding her like this, listening to the music._

Mireille opened her eyes a little bit and looked at Kirika.

"The song is beautiful.", Kirika whispered so quietly Mireille could hardly hear it.

"Yes…", she sighed.

After a long time and many songs they stopped moving, staring at each other. Mireille didn't even realize that they had stopped dancing. She looked into Kirkkas brown eyes, her lips parted, she leaned down, Kirika leaned up, tilting her head to the left as they kissed. Somehow they made their way to the couch and sat down, Kirika sitting on Mireilles lap. Mireille pulled her closer and ran her fingers through Kirikas hair. Kirika let out a sigh.

_Mireille…_

She wrapped her arms tighter around Mireilles neck and sighed again. Mireille gently stroke her back. Kirika took a deep breath in, Mireilles smell teased her nose.

_This clean, pleasant smell… I love it like I love you Mireille._

"I love you, Kirika…", Mireille whispered softly.

"I love you, too.", Kirika answered quietly.

Suddenly a loud guitar song began, making Kirika and Mireille jump.

They stared at each other, surprised, then bursted into laughter.

"Oh my…", Mireille laughed, "wow… I nearly jumped out of my skin!" She crashed Kirika against herself, Kirika yelled happily, still giggling.

"Ahhhhh…", Mireille sighed after calming down, turning the song off and sitting on the couch again. Kirika was next to her, still grinning.

_What is so funny of jumping because of a silly song? Why am I still grinning?_

… _because this is stupid._

_Being shocked by a song._

_This is just so stupid._

Kirika laughed again, Mireille smiled at her. She was happy to see Kirika smile, and even laugh.

"Kirika…", Mireille sighed.

Kirika looked at her, her eyes affectionately on Mireilles blue orbs. She reached out and touched Mireilles cheek, Mireille closed her eyes. She enjoyed the warmth of Kirikas hand. She wrappend one arm around Kirikas shoulder and pulled her closer.

"Kirika", she said again, their faces coming nearer and nearer to each other.

"I love you.", she whispered just one second before their lips touched.

--

"MIREILLE!", Kirika screamed, making Mireille jump and yelp in surprise. Kirika clinged to Mireille as the blonde embraced her.

"Shhhh… It was just a nightmare again… only a dream…", Mireille tried to soothe her while stroking her back and rocking her gently. It touched her in a strange way to see Kirika suffer. Mireille sometimes thought she herself could feel Kirikas pain and despair. Kirikas tears fell onto her neck and into her nightshirt, but she didn't care.

_I have to do something. It can't go on like this. Everynight she suffers, everynight the nightmares haunt her, this just doesn't work. _

_But what can I do?_

_Therapy? NO. I won't have that._

"Mireille?", Kirika whimpered, interrupting Mireilles thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Could you… dance with me?"

Mireille was surprised.

_Dance? Why does she want to dance?_

_No matter._

"Of course."

--

Mireille turned the music on. Slow, soft songs sounded right. She held one hand out to Kirika. Kirika took it and came close to Mireille, leaning against the taller woman's body and putting her arms around Mireilles waist. She buried her face into Mireilles neck and closed her eyes. Mireille sighed and put her arms around Kirikas slim form. They started dancing.

After a few minutes Mireille felt Kirika relax.

_Dancing calms her? Alright… but we can't dance everynight._

…_Why not?_

_No. _

_I can't get up everynight to dance._

_But maybe this is the only thing that calms her._

Mireille started to hum. Kirika lifted her head and looked at the blonde. A small smile came onto her lips as she let her head rest again.

When Mireille stopped Kirika softly whispered:

"Don't… please go on."

Mireille complied.

_Why isn't there any mercy for my love… Why does she have to bear those nightmares…?_

_This is just so… ah._

_I can't explain it._

_As long as there is pain, my tears will fall like the rain._

_As long as there is love, I will smile and laugh for the one I love._

_Maybe we will lose._

_No._

_I've learned the hard way to never let it get that far. My heart can possibly break, but I don't care._

_Everything I do is just for you, Kirika. I coukd never live without you, and we will fight your ghosts until they disappear. I am sure we'll make it, petite. Just because of you. I hear you cry every night…_

_So dance with me._

_Dance with me until there's nothing left to make you cry._


	11. Running Out Of Time

_**Thanks for the reviews!**_

**_This is gotta be a short Chapter, I'm sorry. I could give you a list of reasons, but this would take a lot of space…_**

**_Hmmm… I am still thinking about a way to let Kirika get out of her despair and chase away the nightmares… I'm not yet sure, but… just let it happen. I'll find a good way, I am sure. :)_**

_**Until then, enjoy "A nightmare" by Mireille 29**_

A nightmare – Chapter 11

_I know I can be stubborn sometimes._

_A little righteous and too proud._

_I thought I had all the answers… But as you were gone I admit that I was wrong._

_All I know is I'm lost without you, I'm not gonna lie!_

_How am I gonna be strong without you?I need you by my side!_

_I missed you more each second._

_If I had been able to hold you then and make the pain just go away…_

_I kept trying to find my way, but all I know is that I'm lost without you…_

_Will you fall for me the way I would fall for you? Of course you would. You have already fallen for me._

_My head's full of thoughts… thoughts of you._

_My heart is beating so fast, I can't stop it._

_What had happened? Why didn't I speak up that time? Someone, tell me!_

_I should have told you earlier… I should have told you, Kirika, that I love you._

_You make me feel alright for once in my life._

_--_

"Hey, what's wrong, my love?", Mireille asked softly.

Kirika was crying. Standing at the window, looking over Paris and crying. Mireille embraced her from behind. Kirika tilted her head back so that it rested against Mireilles chin.

"Mireille…", Kirika whimpered, more and more tears running down her face.

Mireille pulled her closer.

"Hey, petite… What is it?"

Kirika trembled.

"I saw it all again, Mireille… all this blood and pain…"

Mireille turned Kirika around so she could face her. Gently she wiped Kirikas tears away.

"What did you see?"

Kirika sobbed and shook her head.

"Can't tell you this…", she breathed.

"Oh Kirika… Your whole life has been a nightmare… in sleep you should be able to escape your fears… It hurts me to see you suffer so much…"

"Mireille…" Kirikas voice was so quiet it hurt Mireille hearing it. She seemed to be so small, so broken, like searching protection, clinging to Mireille.

"I can't help you if you don't tell me what's bothering you.", Mireille whispered.

Kirika just cried harder.

"I know it's hard to tell someone.", Mireille added, "But could you try?"

Kirika wiped her tears away, then she nodded. They went back to bed and lied down.

"It's always the same…", she began,"I see you, happy and content. You run away from me, laughing, and I follow you. It's like we're playing a game, like we're just having fun. You run and run, I am after you and then… she comes."

Kirika shook head and whimpered, unable to continue. Mireille tried to comfort her and encouraged her to go on.

"Chloé…", Kirika whispered, "She… it's always her who kills you, and every night it gets more horrible…"

_What can I do?_

_What can I do?_

_WHAT CAN I DO?_

Mireille shook her head.

"I'm afraid of losing you, Mireille…", Kirika breathed.

"I won't ever leave you, Kirika, you know.", Mireille said quietly, affection in her voice.

"I know.", Kirkka answered just as quiet as Mireille, "But it is so horrible… I can't resist it, I can't fight it… I just can't do anything against this!"

Mireille's expression was really worried now. She understood her small partner very good, and she herself didn't know what to do.

She ran her fingers through Kirikas hair, intently thinking about how to get a way out of this shit.

But she could not think of anything. Kirika closed her eyes and nuzzled against Mireilles body. She was still sobbing softly, but so tired she didn't care. Mireille tightened her grip around Kirika, letting the small person cuddle into the warmth of her body. Kirika soon fell asleep again, she was exhausted because of crying so much, leaving Mireille alone with her thoughts. And Mireille was unable to sleep right now. She was too confused, still trying to find a way. She sighed. Again and again.

_No Exit._

_Time cannot erase everything._

_And we… are slowly running out of time._


	12. You don't need to

_**So here I am again…**_

_**I don't have anything to say, guess.**_

**_Just that I am VERY VERY dissapionted. SO many hits, I mean, about 200, and ONLY 4 REVIEWS? Are you serious? If I don't get reviews anymore, I will leave the story as it is and not continue it. Blame yourself for it, it's not my fault._**

A nightmare Chapter 12

"She was here! She was here! SHE WAS HERE!", Kirika screamed. She jumped out of the bed and ran to the window. She buried her face into her amrs, she shivered, both from cold and fear. Mireille got up with a suffering, but not angry sigh and came up to Kirika.

"Hey… There's no one here… Shhhhh…", she whispered softly while wrapping her amrs around Kirika. Kirika clinged to Mireille, whimpering and crying.

"It's alright… No one's here, except you and me."

"It's… not alright… Mireille… I've seen her…", Kirika sobbed.

"Kirika, look at me. You know… she's dead. She can't come here."

"But…", Kirika whispered in despair, "I know she's been here."

Mireille put her hands onto Kirika's shoulders and looked her in the eyes.

"You know this can't be. She's dead. She's dead, Kirika."

"I know…", Kirika whispered, "I've killed her."

Mireille nodded. "Yes. Yes, you have."

"But… I've seen her. Right there.", Kirika pointed to the door.

"She watched you. Then she took her knife and…", She couldn't continue because she started to cry again.

"Hey…", Mireille pulled her closer. "She wasn't here. Stop crying." She gently stroke Kirikas back.

"Mireille…", Kirika whimpered and crashed herself against Mireille, repeating the Corsican's name again and again.

"I'm here. Don't be afraid. Shhhhhhh…" Mireille kissed her gently on the forehead and leaded the both of them back into the bed. Kirika cuddled up into Mireilles arms.

"You should try to sleep." It wasn't an order, just a suggestion. Kirika complied.

"Mireille?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

Mireille just smiled.

--

When she woke up the next morning Kirika was still asleep. She sneaked out of bed, careful not to wake Kirika and went into the bathroom to have a shower.

When the warm water touched her skin she relaxed and closed her eyes. Her eyelids were still heavy, she was still tired.

_I should be angry. But I can't be mad at my Kirika. It's not her fault. I can't blame her for having nightmares. _

_I used to live with her like anyone else would. But see, this doesn't work. I have to do something. It can't go on with those damned nightmares. But what can we do?_

_I ask this question a lot, I know. Maybe she really should see a doctor._

_No._

_This would only make her confused._

_Maybe she should talk with someone._

_But…_

_She can only talk with… me._

_About these things._

_No one else should know. Alright. So then. Talk to me, my love._

When she was finished, she dressed up and went into the living room where Kirika was standing by the window. Mireille remembered the last night. She approached her partner and enfolded her in her arms.

"Good morning.", she whispered softly in the smaller girl's ear.

"…Morning.", came the quiet answer. The window was open, so the wind came in.

"Wanna go outside?", Mireille suggested.

Kirika nodded.

--

Mireille really racked her brains, it almost caused her headache.

"Mireille?", Kirika asked.

"Yeah, what is it?", Mireille answered, slightly confused.

"Stop that."

Now Mireille was really surprised. She stared at Kirika with a very puzzled look.

"Stop thinking about me so much."

_Ah, I understand._

Mireille smiled.

"But I want to think about you. I do nothing but think about you." She took Kirikas hand and gave it a loving squeeze. Kirika smiled her cute smile. They waked through the crowded streets of Paris. Suddenly Mireille stopped at looked into the shop window.

"What about a new haircut?", she asked and pointed at the shop. Kirika looked at it.

"To a hairdresser?", she asked, thought about it and nodded. "Why not…", she mumbled more to herself than to Mireille.

"Alright then, come on." She took Kirikas hand tighter and leaded her into the hairdresser.

"Bonjour, monsieur.", she said, "We need a new hair style." He came to her and looked at Kirikas hair.

"Okay, what would you like me to do?"

"I guess just a little shorter and maybe…more stylish, what do you mean, Kirika?"

"Hm-hm.", Kirika nodded.

_Maybe this will look better. Let's see._

"Well, then, let's go.", the hairdresser said and began.

He started with Kirikas bangs. It had become quite long, He made a cheeky cut, it really looked cute (in case in Mireilles opinion).

When he was finished they left. Kirika was content. It looked really good, though. Although Kirika had never cared for her appearance. Mireille stared at her affectionately. It seemed like she couldn't turn her eyes off Kirika.

"Awwwwww, honey, you're soooo cute!", Mireille said happily, making Kirika blush and smile in embarrassment. The blonde placed a slight kiss on Kirika cheek, took her hand and interlocked their fingers. Mireille stopped going and ran one hand through Kirikas hair. Her smile became even bigger. Kirika looked in to her blue eyes with her soft brown orbs full of joy.

"My pretty little girl…", Mireille whispered while letting her eyes run all over Kirika. Kirika just smiled at the blonde beauty and they slowly walked back home.

Kirika made some tea and they sat down in the living room drinking it while just looking at each other. Suddenly Mireille broke the silence:

"Hey, petite… I love you."

Kirika rose her head and looked at her partner.

"I love you, too.", she answered softly. Mireille put her hand on top of Kirikas, gently stroking her small fingers. A content sigh escaped Kirikas lips.

Then it all happened automatically. They both leaned forward, their noses brushed and their lips found each other in a soft, delicate kiss. Kirika found herself lost in Mireilles arms which were slowly enfolding her.

_You know I'll never let you go Kirika._

_You know I'll always be there for you._

_You know that you have won._

_You know as good as I know._

Kirikas arms found their way around Mireilles slim waist. Mireille kissed her forehead. Kirika rested her head against Mireilles neck.

"Anything in mind, love?", Mireille asked.

"Mh-mh.", Kirika made in respond, slightly shaking her head. Mireille ran her fingers through Kirikas hair.

"Nothing?", she asked quietly.

"Nothing.", came the soft answer.

"Okay." Mireilles arms tightened around her.

"If there's anything you wanna tell me, then just do."

"Yes.", Kirika whispered.

_You don't need to_

_make impossible things possible._

_You don't need to_

_live over your possibilities_

_You don't need to_

_be afraid_

_You don't need to _

_do anything_

_You don't need to_

_perform miracles_

_You don't need to_

_be ashamed_

_You don't need to_

_play a role_

_You don't need to_

_be strong always_

_And you don't need to_

_go alone_

'_Cause I'll always be with you._


	13. An accident

… **_What shall I say. Should mention that I know that "exist" is spelled without that fing "c". But when I'm writing I don't realise I'm putting it in. I know I keep them saying "I love you" very much. But I can't stop that. I love this sentence, and they both accepted their feelings and opened up to each other, I think it's okay, isn't it? But I thank you, seraphydragon, you're right with what you tell me. And you were not to critical. It's always good to hear what I can do better. Thank you very much. _**

**_Sorry if there are more spelling mistakes than usual. Even though I read it 5 times… Please don't be angry because of that, but I… I cried the whole time writing this. Don't ask me why._**

A nightmare Chapter 13

In the mornings when it was still dark, Kirika slid out of bed and went outside. She walked through the empty streets, looking at the ground, tears running down her face.

_I'm so sorry, Mireille. I'm so sorry. I don't want this anymore. It can't go on like this._

Last night, she had dreamed again. And it had been worse than ever. She didn't know how long she would be able to bear this.

She didn't see anything, she didn't hear anything.

She didn't hear the man trying to warn her.

She didn't see the car coming.

And she didn't feel any pain.

--

Mireille almost ran to the hospital.

_She must be alive. She MUST be alive._

Mireille begged to any god that might exist that Kirika was not dead.

She still couldn't believe what was going on. Kirika had been hit by a car. Mireille cried. Her view was blurred, her mind foggy. She didn't know how she made her way to the hospital afterwards. But when she finally arrived the woman at the entrace told her to sit down. The only thing she could do was to wait.

So Mireille sat down and kneeded her hands. She was afraid. So terribly afraid of losing the only person who really mattered in her life. The man next to her held out a packet of cigarretes. Thankfully she took one.

_Since when do I smoke? But there's no harm in one cigarette, is it?_

He lit both cigarettes and looked at Mireille. She gave him a sad smile.

"I don't like hospitals.", he said returning her smile. She took a deep breath in and nodded. A single tear made it's way down her cheek.

"May I ask why you are here?"

A sigh escaped her lips.

"My friend had a car accident."

"Oh.", He looked away.

"And you?", She asked very quietly.

"My son has fallen down the stairs in our house. His arm's broken. But he'll be better soon. Look, there he is. Goodbye, 's been nice to talk to you."

"Goodbye." He got up and went away. Mireille looked at the cigarette in her hand.

_Bah. What foolishness._

She leaned forward to the table and put it in the ashtray. Just then a doctor came in. He went up to Mireille.

"Miss Bouquet, right?", he asked. Mireille stood up and nodded.

"Would you follow me please." Mireille did. He leaded her to Kirikas room. Then he left her alone. Mireille opened the door and stepped inside.

When she saw Kirika she could do nothing but cry again. Slowly she went to the bed were Kirika was laying. She looked like sleeping, her face was pale. Mireille sat down at the edge of the bed and reached out to stroke Kirikas cheek. Kirika opened her eyes.

"Mireille…", her voice sounded hoarse when she whispered the blonde's name.

"Shhhhhh…" Mireille ran her fingers through Kirikas hair. A tear fell onto Kirikas forehead. Mireille gently wiped it away.

"No… don't… cry… Mireille… I'm sorry…" Kirika hardly had the power to say anything. Mireille shook her head.

"No…", she breathed, her voice cracked.

Kirikas view blurred, her body felt numb. One second later she passed out. Mireille kept hold of her hand, refusing to let go. She was afraid that if she would let go she would lose Kirika forever.

_It's one moment that takes your life away… I would change the world if I had a chance. This cruel, mad world._

_Please don't leave me, Kirika… I could never bear this… _

_I love you._

"I love you… listen, I love you!", Mireille whispered to the unconscious Kirika, her whole body racked from sobs, her cheeks all wet from tears.

Hours later she had to leave. She made her way home, not knowing how. She didn't realize anything around her. The last thing she thought was:

_It's gonna be a long night… and it's gonna be cold without you…_

--

The next day Mireille went to the hospital again. When she arrived, the doctor came to her. Just when she saw is expression she had a bad feeling. And she was right. His news weren't good.

"Miss Bouquet, I have to tell you something.", he breathed heavily and slowly before he continued.

"Miss Yuumura is… she's in a coma."

Mireille didn't believe what she'd just heard.

"No… NO!" She shook her head.

_Why, why, WHY?_

"Will she wake up?", Mireilles voice was shaking when she asked him.

"I can't tell you right now. But as soon as we know something we'll contact you, I promise."

"Can I go and see her?"

"Of course. Follow me please."

Mireille entered the room where her love was laying. Eyes closed, her arms resting weakly on each side of the bed. Mireille heard the steady 'beep' coming from the machine showing Kirikas heartbeat. It was so very weak, beating so slowly. A knot formed in Mireilles throat.

_It can't be… this can't be real… _

She shook her head. Then she felt something wet and salty on her cheek.

Tears.

She didn't mind them. But crying only made it worse. She sat down next to her small partner and took her hand.

"Please wake up… Kirika… I'm lost without you…", Mireile whispered. She didn't know whether Kirika had heard her.

_I will stay here, no matter how long I have to wait… I'll stay here until you wake up. And if you die, I'll die with you._

_Because I won't live without you._

The tears fell onto Kirikas hand. There was no reaction from the small asian girl Mireille loved so much. Mireille couldn't refuse to sob quietly.

"Don't leave me, Kirika…", she whimpered and kissed Kirikas fingers,"You can't go away now… I wanted to tell you so many things… I wanted to tell you how much I love you, how much you mean to me… What shall I do when you're dead?"

More and more tears ran down her face.

"I hope you hear me… I know death is kinda compromise. But you are special to me… I'm afraid, do you hear me? I'm afraid. I'm with you… You know what we've been through, you know what happened between us. I give you my heart. So if you die, I'll die with you, listen? Guess what I'll do now, honey… I'll pray. I never prayed. I never belived in god. But now I do. I do believe. And I'll beg him to look after you if you die. He shall protect your soul, because I failed, because I couldn't protect you. You know I can't be with you when you leave the world. God doesn't want me to be with you on this journey. Not yet.

It does not matter whether we don't want it.

I would bring you to heaven.

But I can't.", Her voice was choked. She squeezed Kirikas hand.

_God, if you excist, take her with you if you want to. But don't leave me here. Take me with her. Take me instead of her. DON'T TAKE HER AWAY FROM ME!_

_Why are you doing this to her? Look at her, she's so young… And now she has to lay here, given an artificial respiration… why… tell me why…_

"It's so quiet at home if you're not there. The apartment is so empty… please come back to me…"

_Wish you were here…_

She stayed like that the whole day. In the evenings she had to leave. Somehow she made her way home, collapsed onto the bed and cried until she was so exhausted that she fell asleep.

This night, it was Mireille who had nightmares. Horrible nightmares. They really took her breath away. She felt so alone. And alone she lay there and cried, her whole body shaking from sobs. Her pillow was all wet, but she didn't care.

She only cried harder.

_Love can kill._

_But hatred can never save._

_Never._

_Noir, two maidens who reign over death._

_But even they can die._


	14. Another nightmare on the manor

**_Do I have anything to say… No… only thanks for the reviews._**

**_By the way, ((…)) means the nightmare. Only wanted to make sure you understand. _**

A nightmare, Chapter 14

The next day Mireille visited Kirika again. She kept hold of the small hand the whole day.

"I miss you like hell… Every minute's like a day… I miss your smile I miss your laugh I miss everything about you… You're so far away from me…"

Mireille whispered to Kirika. She didn't care whether Kirika heard her or not. She just wanted to tell her all those things. It really bothered her that she could tell her this only now, when she was about to die, when she probably couldn't hear it. Oh yes, Mireille hated herself for not being able or not having the courage to tell her that earlier.

But did she really believe Kirika was going to die? No. She was afraid she would, she hoped, BEGGED that she would not, but she believed in Kirika, she believed Kirika would fight and would not die. Not now. Not today, not tomorrow. She knew Kirika would wake up. Deep inside her heart, something told her that Kirika wouldn't leave her.

But Mireille knew that a coma wouldn't just disappear in seconds. Nor minutes. It could last days, months or years. She didn't dare to only think about that. Waiting for Kirika to wake up for years… No. This just couldn't be. She tried to tell herself that this was just a bad dream.

_Bad dreams… Like the nightmares she has… or had. I don't know._

"Kirika…", the name escaped her lips as a quiet sob. Then, the tears came again. Mireille felt like her heart was shattered into a thousand pieces.

Just then she felt a warm hand onto her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, but he have to take her for a checkup.", the doctor said.

Mireille just nodded and let go of Kirikas hand. Then she left the hospital.

--

She went through Paris, not knowing where to go. Then she decided to go to the park once more. She sat down at the bench where she and Kirika had often sat, just to be with each other. She looked at the empty place beside her. She had to control herself not cry. It was really a heavy blow to have Kirika lying in a coma. But the worst thing was thart Mireille didn't know whether Kirika would wake up. It was this uncertainty that drove her crazy. She wished Kirika would sit next to her, not talking, not doing anything but smiling. She longed for Kirikas soft, small fingers in her hand.

Mireille couldn't take it anymore to be here. She walked away, into the crowded streets again. There was the small café they had always sat and drank coffee.

_She used to drink her coffee only with sugar…_

Mireille smiled a small, sad smile. As she went on, she reached the fountain where she had been standing with Kirika long time ago, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

Mireilles fingers touched the water. It was cool against her skin. She moved her hand very slowly, feeling the water, and tried to remember how they stood here once.

She shook her head.

_Kirika… please… you mustn't die…_

As the tears ran down her face she went back home. It was far too early to go to bed, but she didn't care.

--

Late at night she still wasn't asleep. She was tired like hell but unable to sleep. She was too confused, she racked her brains about what to do if Kirika would really die (what she still refused to think of).

_What am I supposed to do when I'm alone again… Kirika, you just can't do this to me! Don't leave me alone…_

When she finally fell asleep with exhaustion she only got nightmares again.

_((She ran. Faster and faster. She had already lost Kirikas track. Where could she be? Then she heard something onto the wall behind her. She breathed in sharply and pointed her gun to where the noise came from. Then she fired, but her bullets didn't hit their goal. Kirika shot only once, but it hit Mireilles cheek. She was lucky that it was only a graze, and it didn't hurt at all. She wiped the blood away and went on, after Kirika. She reached a bigger place with many collumns. She looked around, Kirika was nowhere in sight. She continued her way, hiding behind one of the columns. Just then she realized Kirika onto the huge archway. She held the pocket watch tightly in her hand. Then she stopped walking and threw the watch away. Then she suddenly ran, jumped and turned around to fire at Kirika. Kirika jumped down from the archway and shot, too. Mireille fell onto the ground, Kirika landed right in front of her, kneeling. They pointed their guns at each other. But both of them hesitated. The pocket watch hit the ground, it's melody began. Kirika took in a sharp breath of surprise. She dropped her gun. Whilst Mireille was still wondering Chloé came. "Kirika...?", Mireille whispered just when a knife hit her hand and she had to drop her gun, too. Kirika didn't do anything. Chloé said something about Mireille, she didn't exactly remember what, only that it was something about better not coming here or so. Then she threw another knife. Mireille shot at it so it didn't hit her. But then one knife peered deep into her thigh, she yelled with pain and fell to the ground again. Just then Chloé was in front of her and kicked her under her chin. "Daughter of Cosica, Mireille Bouquet…" Mireille didn't listen. She just got a shock when Chloé took the next knife to defeat her denfenseless enemy.But then there was a shot, and Mireile wondered why she didn't feel any pain. She looked down to find her throat without any wounds. Chloé held a destroyed knife in her hand, Kirika wa standing there, gund risen. "LIAR!", Chloé screamed and fought with Kirika now. Mireille couldn't do anything. She could only watch. "Please stop, Chloé!", she remembered Kirikas cries. "It was supposed to be me!", Chloé shouted. Kirika jumped away and the knife fell onto the ground. Then she turned around, threw the small fork away and ran into Mireilles direction. "Chloé'!"))_

Mireille woke with a start, breathing heavily. She sat up and got out of bed. She went to the window and opened it to take in a deep breath of fresh air.

_It's been long since I last dreamed of the manor… Anyway, what was that about? Why do I dream of this? Of this day, which I so badly tried to forget…_

_(("Chloé!"))_

Mireille shook her head, refusing to allow her memories enter her mind again.

_No… stop…_

Mireille opened her eyes again.

_((Remember who you are. There will always be a way.))_

Mireille remembered Kirika saying this sentence.

_I'll try, Kirika. I'll try._


	15. Assassins again?

**_So now, next Chapter of "A nightmare" (This time without any crying from my side)_**

_**I am really really sorry that I kept you waiting for so long, I promise to hurry up with my next update.**_

A nightmare – Chapter 15

The next day Mireille was awakened by the telephone. She moaned, but got up.

"Hello?"

"Miss Bouquet? Here's Doctor Monnin."

Mireille felt fear creeping through her body.

"Is something wrong with Kirika?", she asked, her voice trembling.

"Um, not really, no. I guess I can say I am pleased to tell you that she will recover. She didn't wake up yet, but she makes progress."

Mireille couldn't help but cry and smile at the same time.

"Can I come and see her?", she demanded between her sobs.

"Of course.", he replied.

"Thank you, Doctor Monnin, thank you!" Mireille put the phone down, grabbed her jacket and ran.

--

When she arrived she was out of breath, but recovered quickly. She didn't have the nerve to wait for the elevator so she just took the stairs. When she arrived in front of Kirikas room, she took deep breaths and entered.

Kirika was still uncounscious, like Doctor Monnin had said. But her face was not that pale anymore. Mireille smiled and sat down on the edge of Kirikas bed. She took Kirikas small hand in hers.

"I knew you would recover, Kirika. I knew you would. I knew it all the time."

Tears ran down her cheeks again.

"I knew." She gave Kirikas hand a gentle squeeze.

She took in a sharp breath of surprise when she felt Kirikas hand returning the motion weakly. First she thought her mind was playing her, but then she felt it again. She looked at Kirikas face, just to see Kirikas eyes flutter, but stay closed.

"Mi…reille…", so quiet and weak, but she had said something. Mireille sobbed.

"Kirika.", she whimpered. Even more tears came, she didn't bother to stop them. Because these were tears of endless joy. She gave Kirikas hand a kiss, then leaned her forehead against it.

"Kirika… I knew you wouldn't leave me… I knew you would wake up…", she whispered again, then sobbed violently while laughing softly. Kirika opened her eyes to look at Mireilles face.

"Mireillle… don't you cry… it's alright now…", Kirika breathed. She hardly had the power to say something. Her chest hurt with every word. Mireille rose her free hand to gently stroke Kirikas cheek. Kirika smiled tenderly, but yet weakly at her partner.

"Didn't I… tell you that I won't… ever lea…ve you again…?"

Mireille smiled sadly.

"You have."

"See? I won't… break my… promise…"

"Shhh, now, don't speak. You're too weak. You should rest.", Mireille said softly. Kirika nodded and closed her eyes. She soon drifted back to sleep again. Mireille watched her, still smiling.

_I knew it… But I still can't believe it… Thank you, god, for not taking her away from me…_

_--_

This night Mireille could sleep calmly. Now she didn't have to fear losing Kirika. And with the thoughts of being allowed to take Kirika home with her soon she fell asleep.

--

_(( "Kirika. Kirika!"_

_Slowly Kirika opened her eyes. She was home, in Mireilles apartment. But when she left the bedroom and went into the kitchen, it was not her blonde partner standing in front of her. Instead of her it was a red-haired young woman with a long green coat._

"_There you are.", Chloé said and smiled._

"_What are YOU doing here?", Kirika asked confused. _

"_I want to take you with me.", Chloé explained and held out her hand. Kirika just looked at her, not knowing whether to take it or not._

"_Where's Mireille?", she asked after some moments of hesitation. Chloé sighed._

"_Is Mireille all you think about?", she demanded angrily. _

"_Almost. Where is she, now?" Chloé pointed at the door to the bathroom. Kirika turned around ant slowly stepped inside the room. _

"_Mireille?", she asked quietly. Then she realized the shower curtain was closed. And there was all this blod on the floor… She went over to pull it back. With much effort she stifled a scream of shock when she saw Mireille lying in the shower cabin, stabbed to death with many of Chloés knifes. She recognized them immediately. Mireilles empty eyes stared at her. Kirika could no longer hold back and let out an echoing cry of disgust.))_

"Kirika! Wake up!"

Kirikas eyes popped open, she sat up, breathing heavily.

"Hey, shhhhhhh, calm down, it's okay…", she heard Mireilles soft voice and turned her head to face the blonde. Mireille looked at her quite shocked, with fear in her blue eyes.

"Mireille…", Kirika breathed and let herself fall into Mireilles arms. Mireille tried to soothe her by gently stroking over Kirikas black hair.

"Shhhh, I'm here, it's alright.", she whispered. Slowly Kirika relaxed in her arms.

"What did you see?", Mireille asked.

"I saw… I was in the apartment. I was home… and Chloé was there… I asked her whether she knew where you were… Then I… went into the bathroom and… you were in the shower cabine… so much blood…", Kirika stammed, then her voice broke and she shook her head, trying to refuse the thoughts inside her. Mireille closed her eyes.

_Again a nightmare where I died. And again it was Chloé. This "event" at the manor really must have hurt something unrepairable in her mind._

_But I cannot fix it._

_Maybe we really should get some professional help. I can't do anything to help her. _

_Shit._

Mireille buried her face in her hands.

She couldn't see any other way anymore.

But still they couldn't tell anyone else about ther crimes without having to kill them afterwards. And she didn't want to kill anymore.

But what if she had to do it again? What if she had to be the cruel assassin she used to be?

--

_**Short one for so much time I needed, I know. But I don't wanna let you wait any longer, next Chapter will be more, I promise.**_

_**(Pleeeeeeeeeease don't forget the review…)**_


	16. Worries And A Bit Of Hope

_**Oh. My. God. **_

_**I just realized that it's been a year since my last upload on this!**_

_**So I thought that I had to fix this.**_

_Wherever you may hide_

_The flashing lights of evil you can't fight_

_And they will hurt you, hurt you most_

_In the night_

_Whatever you may try_

_The shadows of your crimes, they won't go by_

_Nightmares will haunt your mind_

_And you will find _

_They'll never die_

_("Wherever" by Vanilla Ninja)_

**A nightmare**

Chapter 16

-

Worries And A Bit Of Hope

The next day.

After breakfast Mireille grabbed her coat and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?", Kirika asked surprisedly.

"I… I've got something to deal with. See you!", Mireille stammed, then just left, leaving a very confused Kirika behind.

--

Mireille made her way to the library.

_It has been a long time since I've been here… but searching for help with Kirikas problems on the internet at home is too obvious. I don't want her to know what I'm doing. It might just upset her… and that would make it all worse…_

Mireille walked through the corridors, searching for the right section. She read each and every title, looking for something that could help her. She realized that it was useless to just creep around without a destination, so she stopped walking and tried to focus on what she was searching which was quite hard for her because there were so many thoughts whirring around in her head.

_Keep cool, Mireille. Breathe._

Mireille breathed in deeply, then sighed and looked for a sign or something to make her search easier. When she finally found one that said "Psychology" she entered the corridor and looked around for some under-categories. She found "Dream Reading" and studied some titles. Then she took one of the book out of the cupboard and sat down to read it.

--

Kirika had washed the dishes. She had tidied up the apartment. She had looked out of the window for hours. She had walked around in the city, sat in the park, drunken a cup of tea in a cafe. The sun was about to disappear and Mireille still hadn't returned from wherever she had gone. Kirika was quite confused about what was going on. It didn't fit Mireille to just leave her alone the whole day without telling her where she went. It was getting cold. Kirika decided to go back home, loads of questions bothering her. Where did Mireille go? Why didn't she take Kirika with her? Did she leave forever because she was tired of Kirika? Did she do anything wrong?

--

Mireille closed the book. She didn't even remember how many she had read today, her eyes felt sore and she had a headache. When she took a look on her watch she almost fell off the chair she was sitting on.

_Shit!_

It was almost seven p.m. and Kirika must be worried about her! Mireille grabbed her coat, put the book back into his place and hurried out of the library towards her apartment.

--

Kirika sat in the living room. She had already prepared dinner.

_Where are you, Mireille…_

But she wouldn't get an answer.

--

Mireille ran through the crowded streets, not caring if someone was in her way. She had never cared about things like that. It didn't bother her what others thought about her. She only knew that she had to get home quickly.

--

Kirika waited. And waited. And waited. Then she heard footsteps in front of the door. Her heart jumped and she got up immediately and opened the door.

And there she was.

_Mireille._

"Mireille!", Kirika gasped when she was grabbed and hugged tightly.

"I'm sorry Kirika, I… couldn't manage to… I'm so sorry.", Mireille stammed. The door fell closed behind them. Finally they let go of each other.

"Where have you been? I've been worried about you.", Kirika said.

"I'm so sorry, I just had to deal with something. I don't wanna bother you with that.", Mireille tried to get out of the situation.

"Maybe I want to be bothered.", Kirika mumbled and turned away.

"Hey.", Mireille called softly and touched Kirika's shoulder, holding her back and turning her back around. She put one hand under Kirika's chin and gently lifted her head up. "You have enough problems or your own. I don't want you to keep thinking about mine as well. I was at the library. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that it could take a little longer.", she explained. Kirika tried to smile.

"It's okay.", she said.

"I know that it is not.", Mireille comitted, "Don't deny it. But I can't tell you… Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not. But please never ever do that again.", Kirika said and hugged Mireille. Mireille put her arms around Kirika and rested her head on top of Kirika's.

"I won't."

Silently she knew she couldn't keep that promise.

_I know I told her__ that I'd never promise her anything I cannot do again… but I have to._

_I'm sorry…_

_I am so very sorry, but there is no other way…_

--

The next day Mireille and Kirika went to the market. Mireille wanted to apologize for her behaviour and offered Kirika to spent a day out with her.

"You can choose whatever you want to do.", Mireille told her.

"Hm… I'd like to go out onto the market and just watch.", Kirika said.

"Alright then , let's go.", Mireille said smiling.

So they walked over the market, studying the things offered at the different stalls and laughing a lot because of the funny things they found there. Mireille really enjoyed the day, and she felt that Kirika did so, too. They sat down at the park, watching people pass by, hearing the birds chirp and the leaves of the trees rustle. Mireille watched Kirika's face, the closed eyes, the smile plaing around her lips, the relaxed features she loved so much.

The blonde regained some of her previously almost lost hope that, one day, everything would be okay, that they would be able to live like two normal people. Like the ones that fill the streets of Paris, of France, of the entire world, now and everyday.


End file.
